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death
November 2009 
We Are Always Connected
John
I mentioned in a blog not long ago, Nature is My Balm that my mother was dying. The service for her was today and I wrote the following words which were read out on my behalf by my brother-in-law. I know this is intensely personal, but I've decided to share this widely because ultimately we are all part of one big family. The one certainty in life for each of us is that one day we will move on. I don't see this as something to be saddened by. It is a time to celebrate the contribution each of us has made to this world and to wish each of us well on the next stage of the journey. May the following words have as much meaning to you as they've had for me and my family.
First, let me thank you all for being here to remember and to honour a beautiful woman, my mother, Audrey Haines. I know Mom would have appreciated.... Let me rephrase that. I know Mom appreciates the presence of each and every one of you. So do I.
What makes a woman like Audrey so special? It's probably all the little things she did. Added up it becomes a big thing and a worthy contribution to creating a loving world.
I think my mother (and my father) gave a wonderful example of living out their dreams. After Dad's early retirement from the Bell, they travelled each winter in their 5th wheel trailer, eventually finding a wonderful place outside of Tucson, Arizona to spend the colder months. They took up new crafts. Mom loved the connection she felt with Native American culture and she even made clay pots in the traditional way. She and Dad took over the reigns of their hiking group, regularly leading people on diverse hikes in the stunning mountain scenery around their winter home. They were happy Snowbirds.
When Dad died in 2002, part of Mom died with him. The gap that she felt then was one none of us could adequately fill. Mom continued to live a good life and completed dreams including last year visiting the Panama Canal with Nancy. Mom had wanted to see this magnificent feat of human perseverance and engineering for a long, long time.
When I visited Mom in August and September last year, she was still quite healthy and she was still writing in her journal to Dad every night. He was her rock. She was his anchor. We might say she hadn't let go and moved on. Mom had moved on-to a new way of being. She had created a bridge through her belief and her writing with the other world and she continued to truly communicate with the man she loved despite their residing in different worlds. There is something quite special in this.
It has probably been mentioned already today but at the risk of repetition, on Mom's last day in the Tillsonburg Hospital, she kept repeating, "Home, Jim." I know she was met by Dad when she died and I am genuinely happy that they are truly reunited. There is no more powerful force in the universe than love and that force has brought these two special people together again. May you too realise that they are never further away than your next focused thought.
May we each honour my mother by doing as she did, by each day being a little more loving and by living out our dreams.
God bless.
John
Access: Public
What a wonderful tribute to your parents, John. They sound like wonderful people who were very fortunate to have each other, then and now.
My father-in-law died of cancer in December, and while he was dying I read a book, Final Gifts: Understanding the Special Awareness, Needs, and Communications of the Dying, by Maggie Callanan and Patricia Kelley. I wish the book had been available 17 years ago when my mother died of cancer, too. My mother seemed to be looking at someone who none of us could see and she said, “I hope they hurry up.” After reading the book I now understand that someone was meeting her, maybe her grandparents, since her parents and husband were still alive.
How fortunate you are to have known this when your mother died. Thank you for sharing your words, it’s helpful to me to know that others have experienced this and have found peace and the power of love.
My thoughts and prayers for your comfort and support continue at this time.
John, this was such a lovely tribute, you may wish to also contribute it on Hummingbird’s Passing group - this is a group she started to share her own grief, and it evolved into one for people who have experienced the loss of loved ones. Perhaps reading your message there may also comfort others who have had a recent (or longer ago) loss. You also may find it helpful to continue to express your thoughts there for a while, in a safe and supportive energy.
Blessings and Light and hugs ~ ~ ~ ^v^ ~ ~ ~
Gem
Very beautifully written. My heart goes out to you and your family.
Dear Ingebrita, Gem and Jenny,
Thank you for your kind words. At your suggestion, Gem, I have posted this blog in Hummingbird’s Passing group. My condolences to you, Ingebrita, and thanks for the title of the book.
Life and death are part of a grand continuum. This world we call Reality is pretty illusory. In fact Einstein called it an illusion, albeit a persistent one. There is so much more to who we are.
Blessings and love,
John
John, my prayers are with you and your family… The love connection between your parents should be a strong example for all of us… And I have a strong feeling that they are together now… May Light be their way now… and Love heal your soul… Much Love, Lili
John, it is such a blessing that you let your mom go with so much peace and love. Your tribute was perfect. Both of my parents are gone from this world…but will never be gone from my world. I suspect that for you it will be the same. I send you my love.
Thank you Lili and Kat for your love and understanding. When we experience a deep bond of love in this world, that connection remains no matter (no pun intended) where one journeys beyond the shadows of death. My parents remain an integral and deeply supportive part of my world.
Love and heartfelt blessings,
John
Loving way to know about these things, John. You and your mom are truly fortunate.
My mom and her husband bought a camper at their retirement to travel the world, and then, suddenly her husband passed away.
My mom doesn’t have any spiritual connection - I wish she could, so life would be more so different for her.
Spirituality is a true gift… and you know, John, that your mom is with you now.
Thank you Silke. My mother is with me now. I wish your mother much happiness. She has a spiritual connection, it’s impossible not to. She may not be aware of it. But it’s never too late to jump into the abyss.