Help
Sign In
anniversary
November 2009 
On the Power of Marriage
John
We attended an intimate celebration of fifty years of marriage for two dear friends today. They had chosen to redo their vows, have each participant take turns reading out various touching words related to marriage and play a few appropriate songs for the occasion. My little contribution was to read out Kahlil Gibran's words on Marriage from The Prophet. Lucia and I had used these words as part of our marriage ceremony close to 19 years ago. Near the end of our circle of sharing another dear friend sprang up from his chair, approached his partner seated nearby, got down on one knee and proposed to her. Nearly speechless in shock, his partner nodded her consent. There wasn't a dry eye in the place. I'm happy I always carry a handkerchief!
He and his lovely partner have been together for years and have two wonderful young boys. This is not this friend's first long term relationship and he admitted to us all that he had never been married and half jokingly thought he would like to before he turned 60 next year. All of us were touched by the richness of this simple ceremony and the consequences it had for two (four including the boys) of us. The spontaneous proposition in no way detracted from the spirit of the occasion and only temporarily removed the focus from the people whose landmark anniversary was being honoured.
I believe the institution of marriage has tremendous value. It is a commitment to go through the fires of life together, through the ups and downs of finances, health, and relationship challenges and to come out the other side stronger and providing a valuable model for the couples that follow. Two of the pieces of music that were played were Amanda McBroom's The Rose and John Denver with Placido Domingo singing Perhaps Love together.
The Prophet on Marriage
by Kahlil Gibran
Then Almitra spoke again and said...
"And what of Marriage, master?"
And he answered saying:
You were born together,
and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when the white wings
of death scatter your days.
Aye, you shall be together even in the
silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another, but make not a bond of love.
Let it rather be a moving sea between
the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous,
but let each of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone
though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together, yet not too near together.
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress
grow not in each other's shadow.
Access: Public
i’ve always loved Gibran and this poem. these stories beautifully illustrate what a precious gift marriage can be. very inspiring!
Thanks Nicole,
Marriage can be challenge. Lucia and I have had our moments including a six week separation when I was attending to depression in France. She decided to stay with the girls in Holland and didn’t want to see me again. But through courage and grace we managed to get through that moment and slowly build on the strengths of togetherness we have. In doing so the little irritations gradually melt away.
Humor is the key, I believe. Laugh at the little things. After all, they’re all little things. Laughter and keeping it light works with teenagers as well. One thing I’ve learned. When someone says something unkind, they are really only asking for love. And love is infinite, so there’s always plenty to give.
Excellent counsel, thank you!
Dear John,
A very synchronistic moment brought me here….
I am, and have been listening to a John Denver Christmas Concert that was performed and recorded in Washington DC on December 19th and 20th of 1996, the last Christmas that John celebrated before his tragic death on Oct.12, 1997.
Sun Star and I met through an online John Denver environmental group discussion list in 1998 and the rest has been history and a grand adventure!……so I have been thinking of last year this time when Sun was in New Zealand visiting, and thought of you John. I know that it is almost Summer there, and I hope you are enjoying wonderfully warm weather and sunshine…..it is soooooo brrrrrrr cold and snowy here in Oregon!
I just wanted you to know some about John Denver…..he was so elated to have the opportunity to record that song, Perhaps Love with Placido Domingo, and some of his very last concerts the summer before he passed, his voice was so clear and full of emotion, some in part to mentoring with Placido and “coloring” his words, as he said…..this song, also was the song that John did sing when he was inducted into the Songwriter’s Hall of Fame, that last year of his life.
Thank you John for placing their duet here….it is priceless, and at the end, you can certianly feel and see his elation……
I understand the conversation is about marriage, commitment, and this was a song he wrote when he and his first wife were separated, but it is all about love…and I so appreciate the synchronistic moment here……Sun means the world to me, and I appreciate your frienship and your interest, care and joy in regards to Sun……he is priceless!
If you do enjoy John Denver, I would certainly love to send some of his music your way….
Love and Blessings,
Wendy
Hello Wendy,
Ah, the magic synchronicities of life indicating that you are in the flow. I am so glad that we are flowing together as friends.
I love John Denver. He writes and sings music from the heart. I intend to practise Perhaps Love in order to perform it publicly at a Ceili in the months to come. I would be delighted if you were to send some music my way.
Again, I wish you all of the best in the days and times to come. It is truly an amazing time to be alive. I love the way you met Sun. Seems appropriate.
Blessings and light,
John
A beautiful piece.
I note in your piece your featured couple had been together a long time it seems before this man proposed. The relationship had started, grown and matured just fine without the marital vow in place.
Which unwittingly disproved your point.
Is taking marriage vows truly important?
Or is it more about one’s dedication and love for one another? Is love any less powerful or any less real or legitimate if not publicly announced to the world or to a few individuals?
At one time I thought marriage was the ultimate in living this life. I have come to realize that one can find love and have a dedicated unwavering relationship without a proclamation or a ceremony or a piece of paper or tax deduction.
Marriage does not keep a person where they don’t want to be later on. And I agree, marriage is hard work, something to be worked on every day. Each day you decide whether to stay and makethe relationship work or walk away. It’s no different if a vow is said or not.
Persephone, thank youfor your perceptive comments. It is the commitment to go through the fire togetherthat makes a relationship work, whether it is called a marriage or not. But to the couple in the story the idea of marriage brought up fears, probably related to being hurt before. I think that’s one of the keys to life. Moving on and trying again, even when we’ve been hurt before. And recognizing that it is always our own choice whether tofeel hurt or not. Thanks again for your comments. Blessings over the holidays.